It's Saturday night and it's 11:01pm. I should be sleeping. Or studying. Or doing something productive, which these days is either sleeping, studying, eating, or showering. I feel a little guilty taking time to write this blog post, but there's more to life than school, right? That's what I keep trying to remind myself.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm here. I'm still around. Still breathing. Slowly figuring life out. I had a test yesterday and I have another test in 6 days and then a test right after that. I'm not complaining, really. I'm just stating the facts. I'm kinda past complaining since I have accepted that my life consists of school and studying. If I accept that as fact then I don't have a reason to complain everyday. (But sometimes I still do complain a little/a lot). Life is weird. I feel like I am in a bubble. I live at the sketchy Starbucks near my house. Studying. Sometimes I buy the over priced drinks, sometimes I don't. I basically wear the same "study outfit" everyday. It consists of shorts and a huge t-shirt. Wow, fashion. Sometimes, when I am in class, my mind wanders. I am transported back to Bolivia. I'm sitting in the kitchen, talking in Spanish to Hilda, the lady who lived at the house. She used to make me juice every morning. I see the cute little Bolivian children and the street dogs in shirts. When I was in Bolivia, I used to think in Spanish. ... I don't even know what I am writing right now, or what the point of all this is, but I just needed to do something besides school. I'm sitting on my bedroom floor, staring at the map on my wall. Dreaming about when I get to step foot on a plane again, explore a new country, experience things, live life. I think I want to go to Hawaii next. What's in Hawaii? Not really sure. Life is more than school, more than studying. Life is even more than traveling and going on adventures. There's meaning behind it all, and I think it has to do with God. Think about it, there has to be more than this immediate experience. There has to be more to this life. The only times I have felt truly alive have been when I'm hanging out with God. Maybe that sounds weird. What does it mean to "hang out with God?" Don't overthink it. How do you hang out with your friends? You sit together, you talk, you tell each other about your day. I like to do those things with God. I like to sing with God and to Him. I like to think about how amazing God is. I talk to Him about the beautiful flowers He created. I talk to Him about how I still can't believe I am here in PA school. Sometimes I get up early to sit with Him, read my bible, and chit chat before the thoughts of school/life flood into my mind. Other times I wake up late and in a rush and I barely get the chance to thank God for another day of life. So yes, life is okay. Put aside school, and life is actually pretty great. I'm pretty happy, which is nice. ... Rambling over.
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